Are You a Good Sport?

"Sportsmanship for me is when a guy walks off the court and you really can't tell whether he won or lost, when he carries himself with pride either way." - Jim Courier (tennis player)

I'm historically NOT a good sportsman...In fact, when I played tennis in high school, I was like a female John McEnroe:  throwing my tennis racket, cussing, pitching a fit.  I'd like to say that I've mellowed, but...not so much!  I am so frustrated when things don't go my way, especially when it comes to sports or academics. 

My mom used to tell the story that when I was very young - maybe first grade - she came home from work to find me sitting at the dining room table writing furiously.  She asked what I was doing.  I looked up at her, pushed my glasses up on my nose, and said that I missed a word on the spelling test. So I was writing that word 500 times.  My mom asked if the teacher made me do that.  I said "no...I missed this word on my spelling test and so I'm never going to spell it wrong again."  I'd self-imposed my own punishment for misspelling one word.  

Where did I learn that?  Who knows.  My parents certainly didn't do anything to reinforce that behavior in me because they could not have been more supportive of me.  As long as I tried my best, that's all they wanted. 

In case you're saying to yourself "oh surely she's not that bad now" - here's a true story:  My manager at work is a big baseball fan, as am I (a die-hard Cubs fan for some sadistic reason).  I was talking to her one day after a Nats/Cubs game and she was telling me how she was listening to the radio broadcast.  She said that she was laughing at "some woman" who she could hear "yelling" at the Cubs (and specifically at Carlos Zambrano, the pitcher) and cussin' them out.  As she rehashed some of the things this woman was saying, my jaw dropped...Um, that would have been me.  I was the woman yelling at the top of her lungs under the radio broadcast booth at the incompetent Cubs pitcher...I'm so proud... 

So I have no idea - nor do I have enough money to spend in psychiatric bills - to figure out why I'm a bad sport.  One thing I do know is that it's not genetic.  As my mom used to explain, although my brother (who is almost 11 years younger than me) and I are very close, we are completely different.  She used to say that while I'd obsess about the one word I got wrong, my brother would throw a party for the one word he got right...Who knows why...

I'd like to say that over the years I've mellowed and am a better sport.  Well, not so much.  I think some of those behaviors or mentalities may be more engrained in us than we think. Truth be told, although I may have mellowed, it's all relative.  Maybe I've mellowed compared to how I used be, but not compared to how most people are.  I hate losing, I hate when I don't do as well as I should, I hate screwing up...and there's no explicable reason for it. 

So Jim Courier - I commend you and I wish I could embody your definition of sportsmanship.  But alas, I'm more like John McEnroe and probably will always be that way.  Call me passionate, call me fiery, call me unbalanced...go ahead and call me a bad sport.  I've been called worse...

Are you a good sportsman? Why do you think you're the way you are?