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| Getting comfortable with the starting line... |
Looking back, there's no doubt this was the best
decision I could have made. Growth really does come from doing what's
most difficult.
Making that move happen was a year and a half long
process that required a job transfer, sorting through an 18-year accumulation
of stuff, packing up, doing house projects to prepare the house to sell, putting
the house on the market myself, and selling it without a realtor. Priorities
had to shift and my usual athletic pursuits weren’t anywhere near the top of
the list.
Once I got to Colorado, I tried to ease back into
triathlon and running; but life happens. Injuries. Sickness. Depression. Holidays.
More injuries and sickness. I just couldn't get back into a rhythm.
Then it hit me: I brought my old way of life
into a fresh new setting. It was like using old nutrient-deprived soil to plant
new flowers. Nothing will flourish.
So as springtime emerged, I decided to fully
embrace the notion of “rebirth” and start everything from scratch - from my
diet to my mental outlook to my workouts.
In some ways, this has been more difficult than the
move itself. That’s how I know it’s the right thing to do. When you’re used to
a certain level and way of doing things, not being able to rise to that level
can make you feel “less than.” So it’s critical to fully embrace the chance to start
from scratch, with the hope of emerging better than you were before.
Here’s what I’ve learned about starting over and
how you can maximize the process:
1. Recognize
"Setbacks" as Opportunities: Perspective is the most
important aspect of everything in life, but especially if you want to seize the
power of a “setback.” If you allow yourself to wallow in your “setback” you
will remain stuck. So shift your perspective. Viewing a “setback” as a glorious
opportunity is the only way to emerge from the depths like Wesley pulling
himself and the Princess Bride out of the death grip of the lightning sand. This
“setback” is an opportunity to reevaluate, rebuild, reemerge.
2. Allow
Time to Heal: Whether it’s your body, mind, or spirit,
now is not the time to push through whatever has been causing you pain. For
Type-A people, that’s a difficult pill to swallow. But easing back on or eliminating whatever has been causing
discomfort, does not mean you’re a failure. It just means you’re stepping back,
giving some space, and coming back to it from a different angle. As part of my
physical healing, I started a 10-series Rolfing session with the idea of
realigning the structure of my body through fascia work. To maximize the benefits
of that therapeutic bodywork, I drastically cut back on and even stopped my
workouts for awhile. Respect your need to heal, otherwise you’re just building
a foundation on the same weak, injured system as before.
3. Meditate: There are countless studies, articles,
and statistics to which I could point to persuade you that meditation isn’t
just for a bunch of hippies sitting in the mountains. But you can Google those
yourself. What I will say, however, is if the proof is in the pudding, then I’m
the pudding. I’d been in and out of meditation for the last two years, but with
this recent decision to start everything over, I committed to meditating every
day, even if just for 5 minutes. I’ve been meditating for 78 days straight.
My shift in perspective (there’s that word again) is noticeable. Meditation has
allowed me to be more kind to myself and receptive to what I need. No one’s
brain is “too busy” to meditate and meditation doesn’t “quiet your brain.” The
point is to open your mind to possibilities, options, answers, and views that
otherwise wouldn’t come to you.
4. Listen to
Yourself: For once in your life, don’t listen to your friends, your family,
your coach, or your critics. Listen - deeply - to yourself. This is where
meditation helps. What are your body, mind, and spirit deeply calling for by starting over?
5. Do
Something Different: Shake things up. Starting over is the perfect time to brainstorm
ways to do something fresh and different. Our bodies and minds get used to
routine activities and adapt accordingly, becoming stagnant. Athletes use
“muscle confusion” to change up the pace, intensity, or routine of activities
to stimulate a new level of adaptation. The same concept applies to your brain.
So find new ways to stimulate your body, mind, and spirit to reach a new level.
6. Be
Careful With Your “Goals” Right Now: “Goal” can be a tricky four-letter word. Maybe you have a
specific goal that has prompted you to start over, and that’s wonderful. If you
don’t have a specific goal though, that’s okay! After years of specific
goal-setting, I’m a little burnt out on long-term specific goals right now. Although
my general goal is “to be stronger,” I’m not imposing any expectations beyond
that. I realized setting specific goals kept me repeating old, unhealthy
patterns. So right now, my goal is “to just BE.” Be here, now, with where I am.
I trust that I’ll know when it’s time to start setting more specific goals
again and with a new mindset, I’ll be able to set my goals more wisely.
7. Assemble
An Entourage: Although many of the keys to starting over
are deeply solo pursuits, we never accomplish anything without support from
others. Now, more than ever, starting over necessitates a core group of people
who can provide support for this process:
friends, health professionals, coaches. Assemble a list of 5-10 people
to be your entourage, identify how each person can help you, and specifically
ask them to fill that role.
8. Ease Back
In: After deciding to start from scratch, the worst thing you can do
is to dive back into whatever plagued you before. One thing Rolfing has taught
me is that if the Rolfer too aggressively massages a fascial layer, it’s
painful and the fascia can react negatively. So instead, she “eases into” the
fascial layer to get the tissue gradually used to the new pressure. The fascia
then relaxes and deeper layers can be reached without pain. The same holds true
for whatever physical, mental, or spiritual growth you’re trying to achieve by
starting over. Ease into your new levels. Allow yourself time to adapt, and
then move to a deeper level. When you reach an area of pain, ease up a little
until you can relax into a deeper level. That’s how true growth is achieved and
new levels reached. And it will all be rooted in the fact that you were able to
embrace the opportunity of starting over in the first place.
