Tuesday, January 10, 2012

RECOVERY: Guess That Medical Phenomenon

You know that episode of the Simpsons where Mr. Burns becomes radioactive, glows green, and people mistake him for an alien...


Well, that's about what I feel like.  Although I don't glow green, I have some weird, unexplained, medical condition that leaves feeling a little alien...So I'm seeking your advice/thoughts/theories on what it could be...

My Medical Phenomenon

For more than 15 years, I've had some bizarre "phenomenon" (for lack of a better word) whereby my body bleaches/discolors certain colors of linens and clothing.  I'm not talking about sweat stains.  I'm talking about a tan or green towel that looks like it's had bleach splashed on it after I use, even before I wash it, and despite the fact that I don't use bleach.  A green or purple shirt that will get little bleached-looking spots on the neck or chest after I wear it.  Sheets and pillow cases that almost look like they've been tie-died because where ever my face, hands, neck, and chest have touched them, they become discolored.  Here's an example of the latest victim:  a light blue hand towel that has tannish discoloration all over it, which started happening just a few times after I started using it...

Light blue hand towel with tan discolorations from my hands and face...This towel is only a couple months old and was supposed to be stain/fade resistant.  Apparently, this towel line never met me before...
The Facts About My Phenomenon

Now, before you jump in with a bunch of questions, let me give you the key facts:

  1. This has been happening for at least 15 years, during which time I have used a multitude of face and hand soaps, make-up, facial creams, lotions, etc.  So this is not being caused by any one particular product.  I've also lived in two different states and several different homes where this has occurred.  
  2. The discolorations will happen from my bare hands and face - in other words, when I'm not wearing any make-up or lotion.  Ask my boyfriend.  One day, I fell asleep on the couch on his chest while he was wearing an olive green shirt and I was wearing no make-up or products of any kind.  Before he washed the shirt, he noticed that where I'd had my face and hands, the shirt had tannish discolorations.  Also, there have been times when I've used a new towel a few times just to wash my hands, and after 5 or so uses, the discolorations appear.     
  3. The discolorations sometimes happen after I've used a linen or worn a shirt once, before it's been washed.  Other times the discolorations happen or appear after the linen or shirt has been washed (and I don't actually use any bleach when I do laundry, so it's not being bleached in the laundry).  Basically, there doesn't seem to be one specific point in time when the discolorations appear.  
  4. The phenomenon does not happen with black or white colors, and I don't think it's happened with anything red.  It seems to happen with more "earthy" colors - tans, browns, greens, blues, and even grays...Which stinks, because those are the kinds of colors I like.  
Where You Come In

With that background, what on earth do you think it could be?  I asked my doctor about this a couple years ago and she had no clue what it could be. I've tried to Google answers and haven't come up with anything sufficient.  So, I thought I'd use a lifeline and ask the audience what they think....

I'm in no way concerned about this phenomenon.  It's not life-threatening, obviously, given that I've been single-handedly discoloring my clothing and linens for 15 years and I'm still tickin'....It's just a huge annoyance!  Not to mention the innocent casualties that are caught in the cross-hairs of my potent glands and pores...Oh the horror of all the ruined towels, sheets, and shirts!  

So, I'm curious...If you have any brilliant insights, I'm all ears.  Now, I'm off to go wash my hands and face and torture yet another light blue towel with my alien substance before I climb into bed and further bleach my poor, soft innocent sheets...

What do you think my alien condition could be?

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